一个女人对她神经分化的心灵的真理的追求，像大脑着火一样推动，像收集的精神分裂症一样诗意地坦率
丽贝卡·席勒（Rebecca Schiller）本该梦想成真：把她的年轻家庭搬到英国农村去养山羊，并从土地上哄出他们自己的水果和蔬菜。但是，正如她所写的：在大步走向一片开阔的田野和一袋袋玉米的生活的夏天，我带来了一个混乱的黑洞，里面有一些有害的东西，但还没有被认可。
丽贝卡的健康开始崩溃，伴随着令人困惑的症状：频繁摔倒、无法控制的暴怒和神秘的记忆缺失。当她努力让一系列专家来看她时，她羽翼未丰的家园和她的家人被越来越脆弱的线索所牵绊。当她的诊断最终出来时，完全出乎意料：严重的多动症。
在她对答案的争夺中，丽贝卡的意识交替地随着精确的焦点而焦灼，随着联系而螺旋上升。童年的记忆以新的意义重新浮现，她的日常生活与在她之前照料这片土地的勇敢女性的历史交织在一起。她的家人经受住了成长的痛苦，一代又一代的橡子倒下了，又长成了树，远古的狼和猞猁曾在树荫下徘徊。
这是一本关于一位女性新发现的神经分化的全神贯注的回忆录，是一部用毫不留情、光彩夺目的散文写成的回忆录，是一部颠覆那种认为心灵要么正常、美好，要么不同、破碎的叙事的号角。
出版者注：本书的另一个版本以《英国大地》为题出版。
A Thousand Ways to Pay Attention
As propulsive as Brain on Fire and as poetically candid as The Collected Schizophrenias, one woman’s quest for the truth of her neurodivergent mind
It should have been Rebecca Schiller’s dream come true: moving her young family to the English countryside to raise goats and coax their own fruit and vegetables from the land. But, as she writes: The summer of striding out toward a life of open fields and sacks of corn, I brought a confused black hole of something pernicious but not yet acknowledged along for the ride.
Rebecca’s health begins to crumble, with bewildering symptoms: frequent falls, uncontrollable rages, and mysterious lapses in memory. As she fights to be seen by a succession of specialists, her fledgling homestead—and her family—hang by increasingly tenuous threads. And when her diagnosis finally comes, it is utterly unexpected: severe ADHD.
In her scramble for answers, Rebecca’s consciousness alternately sears with pinpoint focus and spirals with connections. Childhood memories resurface with new meaning, and her daily life entwines with the history of intrepid women who tended this land before her. Her family weathers their growing pains where generations of acorns have fallen to rise again as trees, where ancient wolves and lynx once stalked the shadows.
Written in unsparing, luminous prose, this is an all-absorbing memoir of one woman’s newfound neurodivergence—and a clarion call to overturn the narrative that says minds are either normal and good or different and broken.
Publisher’s Note: A different version of this book has been published under the title Earthed in the United Kingdom.
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